Yukon Cornelius, 2-XL, and Special Ed & Sanity.
I really am Woeful. In fact, I’m really at the end of my rope. I’m getting burnt out very quickly as we are down a key person @ the Library. This is compounded by the fact the Summer is our busiest time of the year and this Summer has been exceptionally busy, especially the last two weeks.
I can’t even think straight anymore. We had a supervisor’s meeting this morning where I addressed our staffing issues and I got NOTHING for my efforts except more work in the form of Internet classes that I will be running. I realize that there is no money, but something needs to be done. Therefore I suggested augmenting our supply side meaning that we severely limit what we will Inter Library Loan (ILL). NOT!
CRASH & FUCKING BURN! Thanks. There is no end to this situation in sight either…
So, on top of it being crazy busy we also have an influx of extreme freaks into the library. One situation that occurred this Summer a while ago was so fucked-up I can’t even write about it here as it made the papers… And TV, and therefore, writing about it will out me and I can’t have that as I need my job… Such as it is.
Anyway, the volume of people, Irregulars, and the lack of off desk time have been escalating and reached a crescendo today. At noon I was stranded at the Reference Desk with a part timer who a colleague refers to as, “Every day is her first day.” She’s a nice person but totally useless @ the Library even though she has been “working” there for years.
So, at one point I’m helping this woman locate a book in our catalog, at the same time this drunk middle-aged guy who keeps orbiting the Desk nearby says, “If I find the guy who has the ‘local paper’ I’m going to kick his ass.” While this is happening my clueless colleague begins uttering, “Woeful, how do I do this? Woeful, how do I do that? Woeful, how how how, etc…” All the while this is going on (as I’m still trying to help the woman find her book), I hear the voice of Special Ed calling “Woeful! Woeful! Woeful!” from across the Library.
At this point, I calmly turn to my left to address Clueless but the incessant badgering from Ed has made it almost impossible to breathe let alone think. So I turn to Special Ed’s location and calmly and firmly shout across the Library, “Ed, do NOT shout across the Library floor!!” Ed then immediately apologized for his antics and stopped, so I turned to the patron before me and commented, “I can only do 20 things at once.” There were other patrons waiting who witnessed all this BTW who were waiting for assistance. I finally located the book the woman wanted so I excused myself from Clueless and led her out into the stacks to find it.
Shortly after I got back, my colleagues returned from lunch and as I was explaining what occurred another patron peeked her head into the Reference Office and began, “Woeful! Woeful! Woeful!” and laughed. I was mildly amused as she is an harmless (Ir)regular who couldn’t believe what she witnessed. I was like, “yeah, amazing isn’t it?” And she said that she loved the way that I handled the situation facing Clueless all the while and then slowly turning to totally cut down Ed while I was helping someone else. I thanked her, and then excused myself as it was my lunchtime.
I proceeded to go to a nearby bar where I pounded a Johnny Walker Red on the rocks, and then a McSorley’s Ale while I ate my fish and chips. When I returned, I went back to the Desk uttering the words, “Into the breech” which made the Assistant Director laugh, only I wasn’t joking.
Upon my return the first thing I have to do is pacify Yukon Cornelius. Yukon is a published author and researching a new book he’s writing, a memoir. He was born to a whore 85 years ago in Chicago. Anyway, apparently his mom used to bring him to speakeasies and he needed some photos of such places. This transaction lasted at least 20 minutes…
Then 2-XL called.
Fuck me. Hard!
Why me? Why must I get the call from the guy who sounds like the toy from my childhood and doesn’t make any sense whatsoever except to him? Why God? Why? Why me?
Anyway, 2-Xl this time around is looking for mint. I shit you not my loyal readers. Actually, he’s searching for a shitload of mint as defined by 2-Xl, “A trashbag full of mint.” When I hear this I repeat it out loud. This makes another colleague of mine burst into laughter at the Desk, as does the patron he is assisting. This is the only satisfaction I get all day long… The alcohol merely barely numbed my Woe, but this was the highlight of my day…
After some thorough searching I find a few mint wholesalers for 2-Xl and he then regressed to a questions he had a few weeks back that I helped him with regarding Goodwill and how tax deductions work. At this point I tell 2-XL to stay focused on the task at hand, the fucking garbage bag full of mint! He mulls this over and agrees…
After this transaction is completed 2-XL asks me for a list of Asian Markets in our county… WTF? OK. I oblige.
Then my colleague came to relieve me and I went back down to me desk and finished a few things that needed tending to and then I came home. Which brings me to now… Here I sit writing this as I finish a bottle wine.
And it isn’t even Friday yet. I’m not sure how I continue to do this?