Gandalf, Batman, the Sneezer & a Seven Martini Lunch

The Sneezer who no doubt will be the Johnny Appleseed of H1N1 this Winter spreading the infection far and wide walked into the Library this morning. The guy is like 60 and has NO concept whatsoever of covering his fucking pie hole. Every 90 seconds he sneezed so hard the window panes shook. Even when this dumbass was reading the paper he just sneezed into the thing… Nice. If I make it through this winter alive I think it will be a miracle considering that I’m the go to guy when the PCs malfunction and I’m always touching the mice and keyboards and right next to the faces of these people who have absolutely NO concept of personal space and all things sanitary.

So I take my shift at Reference at Noon today and I see Gandalf with his beard and his staff standing before the Head Of Reference and The Assistant Director. “You Shall Not Pass!” Thinks me. Ha! I choke down a laugh and walk directly into the Reference Office Coke in hand. After he leaves, the Assistant Director comments that you can’t ever judge anyone by the way they look because the guy was intelligent, and articulate… To which I replied, “Gandalf?” which make her burst out laughing!

Later in the afternoon, I was calling holds and reached an answering machine that had the following message: “Hello, you have reached the Batcave. This is Batman but I am unable to take your call right now as I am in the Batmobile with Robin chasing The Joker. When we return to the Batcave I will return your call.” Hahahaaaaa!!

Lastly, while the network printer was malfunctioning and a long line was forming this pony-tailed Irregular who earlier in the day was asking my coworkers if they knew his name, he had his name written down on an envelope that he was showing to them… Anyway, he came up to me and asked if the “head librarian” is around anymore. To which I replied, “Yes. Just go to the Circulation Desk and ask them to speak with her if you need to.” To which he replied, “‘They’ were talking about seven-martini lunches.” At this point I looked to my right at the perfectly normal 20-something guy who I was helping print resumes and he just stared blankly at me. I stared back for a moment, shrugged, then got his resume printed and went about my business…

Needles to say, it was one hell of a day.


~ by Woeful on August 31, 2009.

3 Responses to “Gandalf, Batman, the Sneezer & a Seven Martini Lunch”

  1. Ah, stories like the Sneezer make me appreciate that I no longer deal with the public. How exactly people manage to get through life thinking it’s ok to sneeze all over everything is beyond me.

    As to Gandalf and Batman…Ha! Makes me think I should put that on my voice mail…

  2. Hand sanitizer, rubber gloves, disinfectant wipes/spray, and face masks would be appropriate library supplies to acquire or on your own if the library is not funded for them. A few signs or pamphlets from the county health department about not spreading germs would be handy to point out to the Sneezer and the rest of the staff and users during flu season.

    When I worked in a library I always had my own supply of these items for my own protection. Safe Librarianship is next to Safe Sex in my little world. My 2 cents.

  3. And they wonder why libraries have higher sickness rates than do the management offices…

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