Ed Needs A Snot Rag
Special Ed is a very special pain in the ass who also happens to always have a runny nose. He’s a pain in the ass because he is constantly changing everything he has someone ILL or the Internet reservations he makes. Sometimes he can change any combination of these things several times in just a few minutes. On this particular occasion he was putting an Inter Library Loan request through for a few Steven Seagal films. Of course he didn’t know the titles so after sifting through IMDB with him he was able to discern what in the hell he was after. Ed may be “special” be Ed knows what he wants better than most “normal” people.
On this particular occasion however, Ed was (as usual) sprawled out over the Reference Desk so he could see what I was doing on the computer screen. Only this time he desperately needed a tissue and I didn’t have one. So Ed excused himself to go to the restroom to get some tissue, only halfway there I (and everyone else in the Library) heard him exclaim, “Oh, I have some tissue in my pocket!” which bought him back to the Desk straight away.
The “tissue” Ed had however consisted of roughly eight feet of toilet paper. This didn’t bother Ed one bit, he just held it up to his face as he commanded me to go to the next screen or to scroll down the page until he found what he was looking for at which point he would remove the tissue from his face and with the same hand jab his finger into the screen saying, “Yeah, that one!” As the tissue dangled in the air and dragged across the top of the Desk.
This is exactly what everyone @ the Library is looking for 24″ away from their face, a snot rag brimming with some king of contagion… Thanks Ed because I was feeling way too healthy there for far too long and we wouldn’t want that.