More War Stories

Upon telling the tale of Space Ace to my coworkers the other day they began reminiscing about Irregulars from times past. A coworker said that right after Reagan deinstitutionalized everyone a guy came into the building and immediately walked right up to the Circulation Desk. He told the staff to, “Watch this!” and then fell backwards hitting the floor (hard). He immediately sprang up to a standing position pointed at them with both hands and exclaimed, “That’s a free fall!” Then left through the front door as quickly as he came in.

Astounded by his behavior, the staff walked to the door to watch this screwball as he left. As he was walking he decided to jump atop a nearby stone bridge and hopped from rock to rock to rock gracefully crossing the bridge to the utter disbelief of my coworkers who thought for sure the man would fall into the water… He didn’t. Like a gazelle he leapt away.

A few days later “Free Fall” returned. Again he walked directly up to the Circulation Desk, but this time he asked for a cookbook because he needed, “A recipe for sarcastic pie, the kind that reaches out and bites you right in the face!”


Dumbfounded the head of circulation told the man that cookbooks are located in 641.5. The man headed out into the stacks never to be seen again… Maybe he found the pie and it did in fact bite his face? Nobody knows.

Another coworker told the tale of a guy who asked the Circulation staff if they could direct him to the books on mushrooms. Only the guy was nonchalantly holding a huge mushroom in his hand as if it was an ice cream cone. The staff told the man where he could find the books relevant to his fungal pursuits… At which point the man thanked them and began eating the mushroom as if it was an ice cream cone. Without entering the stacks he turned and left through the front door whence he came.


~ by Woeful on February 7, 2009.

3 Responses to “More War Stories”

  1. Mr Freefall now resides at the gimcrack

  2. Does the gimcrack serve sarcastic pie?

  3. Probably not only sarcastic pie, but mushroom ice-cream cones. To be washed down with elderberry wine with sweetener.

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