My Stalker Is Back

It has been about a year since I’ve heard anything from her so I though it was over… Apparently it isn’t. She called and I was unfortunately the one who answered the telephone. She began the call with, “Hi Woeful! I’m Sooo glad that I got you on the phone. You’re so good helping me. You know I was going to buy you a wedding gift but I though that might be a little creepy.” I was thinking that it’s creepy enough right now, thank you very much. I was not happy.

Following that she congratulated me on getting married (how she knows about this is anyone’s guess), and then began asking me a series of personal questions ranging from, “Do you plan on having children?” to “What does your wife do?” When I told the guys in Tech Services one of them said, “That is not a valid reference question” using a deadpan voice. LOL! That’s how I should have responded.

Anyway, she was trying to locate a person who bounced a check via the criss-cross directory. By using the criss-cross you can find a telephone number by looking up an address. This is how collection agencies find people as well. The rub is that we only have the directory for our City and she needed it for a town all the way across the State. I told her to call the town’s library but she was like, “Ohhh, I can’t call them.” Err, OK (maybe someone over there has a restraining order against her who knows?). How about trying the State Library instead then? This is what I suggested after I came up empty trying a search. Twenty minutes later I was still talking to her… She finally disconnected to call the State Library and I was grateful.

So as not to belabor this excruciating story, she wound up calling back four times over the course of the day. I was unlucky enough to speak with her three of the four times.

I’ve got a bad feeling about this…


~ by Woeful on January 27, 2009.

9 Responses to “My Stalker Is Back”

  1. When it comes to crazies, it’s never over. Never. High time you learned that little life lesson! Batten down the hatches…

  2. Ewww…I would too.

  3. I have had similar problems, and I explain to them, that because their questions are not reference based I can no longer speak with them and I refer them to my manager.

    So, if you have had problems in the past with this person, then it is up to you to notify your manager and pass her on to the manager, as well as document her harassment of you.

  4. Having been stalked several times in my life, I feel your pain/tsouris.
    Have you tried being rather brusque and business-like in your dealings with this person? Sometimes it helps…

  5. Ooo, I’m gonna have to use the “That is not a valid reference question” response in library class sometime….just to see what the prof says, lol.

  6. I’m so sorry. If you wear a wedding ring, that’s probably how she knew. Or you have a coworker who spilled it. I had that happen with my worst stalker. A coworker told him I had gone out of town for a funeral (he noticed my absence; they always do), and he made sure to ask me about it when I got back… 😦 My response is usually: “I’m sorry, I don’t discuss my personal life at work. Is there anything library-related I can help you with?” Or else I make up some completely outrageous lie. I was attacked by penguins last month.

  7. Hello All: I talked with the Director about it and she told me to pass her off on anyone else since this is an ongoing issue. That’s fine by me. My stalker has only actually come in once (or twice) that I know of. Most of the time she calls up looking for me. What is particularly creepy is that she lives almost an hour and a half away from where I work yet still seeks me out.

    To do it right Wolfy you have to use a totally flat affect…

  8. Woe, your guy was right, that was not a valid reference question. And that was the second best answer second only to hanging up.

    Listen you cannot talk to stalkers. They read any sort of contact as personal contact and more importantly “relationship” and “intimate” contact. And the way they read things is way way off. If you say their name, that is you being intimate. If you tell them about a library number to call, that is you being intimate. ANY contact constitutes relationship stuff to them and intimacy. If this person calls back, immediately hand the phone off to someone else. You should under no circumstances talk to her. And especially not about your current relationship. Anything you say about your marriage will be read as you are not happy made a mistake and want to be with her. Stalkers are whacko. They hear what they want to hear.

  9. She is totally batshit crazy Max. Thanks for the advice. I made sure not to refer to her by name, and kept everything as brief as possible. I am not to deal with her anymore in any way and it’s totally fine with my boss too.

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