Drunk, Gay, & Stupid Is a Rough Way To Muddle Through Life…

Now many of my good friends are gay, and some of my best friends are drunk, but none of my friends are stupid, and certainly not one of them is drunk, gay and stupid all at once. Today however, we had a patron who won this unfortunate trifecta.

This guy is one of our Irregulars. He’s fairly non descript, he’s middle aged, looks homeless but not all too tattered, but he does always reek of 80° or higher and tends to breathe like Darth Vader. Anyway, the guy immediately logged onto one of our Internet PCs first thing after we opened and not ten minutes later he was complaining to my colleague that his computer had a virus and he couldn’t do anything he needed to with it…

So I go over to his PC to see what the hubub was all about and sure enough that machine had the Clap or maybe even HIV, I dunno. What I do know is that it displayed a virus warning that would have done Vegas proud with the fanfare of its flashy marquis style! It was also in the process of downloading hepatitis or something so I immediately shut the machine down post haste.

However, just before the machine restarted I noticed various files on the desktop that read “Gay Fetish Porn” yet this guy insisted that he was just searching for a job. Yeah right, just searching for a job at a gay fetish porn web site (or “actor”) perhaps? This is why we have Deep Freeze on all of our PCs, to protect them from dumbasses like this guy. Deep Freeze resets computers to the previously “frozen” (i.e, clean) state when they restart and since this guy had the first session of the day… I’m pretty sure he was bucking for a quill pen up his rectum to call macaroni or something similar.

I’m glad to write that he didn’t have any more “problems” with his session after I restarted and suggested that he might not want to go back to wherever he was…


~ by Woeful on December 1, 2008.

10 Responses to “Drunk, Gay, & Stupid Is a Rough Way To Muddle Through Life…”

  1. Whenever something like this happens, I put on my most innocent, concerned face and say, “May I ask what website you were at when it happened? Because if there’s a problem with that website and our computers, we’d really like know so we can find a way to fix it.”

  2. Hi PL! You know, I used to do stuff like that but the more time that goes by the more I just want to limit my interaction with these creeps.

  3. what was he wearing?


  4. Hobo chic. He’s a middle-aged white guy, denim clad with a scruffy appearance and a balding top… Truly non-descript.

  5. Well, what is he suppose to do? Search for that stuff on his own PC? You could get a virus from some of those sites! Nice twist on an “Animal House” quote.

  6. YES! I was hoping someone would notice that. 🙂

  7. Maybe he was looking for fashion advice?

  8. In these times of credit crunch perhaps the gay fetish lounge sector is the nation’s last financial hope.

  9. wait one minute you say you have no stupid friends but you do have a few polish friends!

  10. Haha! That must have been embarrassing. Maybe he got just drunk to pluck up the courage to check out gay porn in a public library.

    Gay, drunk and stupid: Have you heard of Robbie Williams?

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