The Perfect Storm – Of Freaks

I desperately need Summer to end. Not the warm sunshiny part, the hectic amped-up ADHD schizoid part that comes along with it. Every day I think that it couldn’t get any worse, and I am promptly proven wrong for entertaining the idea. Case in point – Today.

Today will henceforth be know as “Hell On Earth Day,” @ the Library. Today was off-the-wall busy while at the same time totally FUBAR in every conceivable way imaginable. No transactions were straightforward. Every question had secondary and tertiary questions tacked on for good measure, or through the reference interview process I discovered that they were really completely different questions all together.

At one point Special Ed, a needy surly tattooed woman, a woman I’ll call “Berlin” who is mad all the time for no reason whatsoever, and a nearly completely deaf patron who frequents the library were all in the Library at the same time vying for my attention. Later on we also had appearances from Space Ace, and Porn Man… You know it’s a bad day when your interaction with Space Ace is the most “normal” experience during the course of your entire day. I need counseling now.

… Anyway, the highlight of my day was dealing with the perfectly normal looking well spoken guy, 30ish, who came in to use the Internet late in the day who began acting VERY paranoid schizophrenic just before we closed. He had headphones in his ears as he was composing an email, and began mumbling occassionally to himself. Then he began looking over his shoulder at the Reference Desk. At one point I asked him if he needed help and he calmly said, “If I need help I’ll ask.” Fair enough, so why do you keep looking at us over your shoulder then Captain Freak? Why?

At one point he looked over his shoulder, turned back around and said, “That’s it, keep laughing… Like a vegetable.” Then he looked at us again, turned back around and said, “Yeah, smile. That’s it smile like a vegetable.” OK whatever dude! Just don’t kill me on the street when I leave here tonight.

I’m just glad that he didn’t give me any trouble at closing time. It was like I went to a place where everyone was on acid but me… You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.

I need (another) scotch.


~ by Woeful on August 13, 2008.

12 Responses to “The Perfect Storm – Of Freaks”

  1. Wow…what a day. Makes you want to curl up in the fetal position under the Reference Desk.
    and “laugh like a vegetable”…WTF? I don’t think I’ve ever been mocked by produce but clearly this guy has (although green peppers do look a bit smug at times…)

  2. Ug. Seems to me you need more then booze, you need a vacation. Or go live in a cave for awhile away from everyone. Like those hermits in that Monty Python sketch.

  3. It was bad.

  4. dear me… the library is turning into the gimcrack

  5. Smile, Woe, smile like a vegetable.

    [I love that, I will be saying that for days now.]

  6. “Every day I think that it couldn’t get any worse, and I am promptly proven wrong for entertaining the idea…Today will henceforth be know as “Hell On Earth Day,” @ the Library.”

    Aren’t you just ASKING for a worse day?

    Seriously, I think that’s worse than anything I ever experienced working circ. Fortunately. My condolences.

  7. Hi Max! At first we couldn’t figure out if he was reading something aloud or if he was talking to someone on a phone. Then we realized that he was just insane. A few things about this: He was totally normal looking (to the better side of average) and intelligent enough to make good conversation. Just before he left, another one of our Nearegulars stopped by to chat us up. She’s a good person who is just a bit paranoid and she commented on this guys behavior and laughed and asked if that was “normal?” I always love it when one freak comments on the freakyness of another freak! Anyway, this guy is obviously pretty far gone. Smile! 🙂

  8. There but for the grace of God goes a library director

  9. Go drink your scotch, Woeful…like a vegetable.

  10. Have you given any thought as to what kind of vegetable he was thinking you were? That might add up to a few minutes of amusement. 🙂

  11. K cracks me up, now I am laughing all over again at this post.

  12. […] picked that up on Woe’s blog. A seemingly normal person who was actually bat shit crazy kept tossing dark looks at Woe at the […]

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