No Peace

I got no sleep whatsoever last night due to the bad behavior of my new neighbors. First a little background on them, they are two 20ish guys who moved in recently next door. This is their first place away from home. Subsequently, they blast music until all hours and make general asses out of themselves singing, or I should write wailing away a la “Rock Band.”

A perfect example was a brutally rendered “Dead Or Alive” several weeks ago that prompted the downstairs neighbor to have little chat with them lest he call the police. My personal favorite was a strenuously tortured rendition of Sublime’s Doin’ Time: “…got this relationship, I love her so bad, but she treats me like shit…” I find this a tad more than a little annoying, but I let it go since they tend to listen to a lot of the same music I listen to. Also, I rarely go to bed before 12:30 or 1:00 so what does it matter to me? I figured that sooner or later someone with kids would have a few words with them and as I surmised this indeed did happen. This was good because it quelled them for several weeks. Then evening fell yesterday…

When I got home from work, I saw the dumbass leave his apartment as I opened my door. This forced me to acknowledge his existence. It got worse from there. Apparently they decided to have a little party last night. They managed to keep the music and talking to a reasonable level. Then, presumably after most revelers left the gathering sometime between 1:00 and 3:00 when I began to hear loud and erratic banging sounds.

Silence fell, only to be broken by loud banging on their door around 3:45… What fresh hell is this I wonder? Oh, it’s the police. It seems they are feigning death and do not acknowledge the presence of the law. This doesn’t work, and the police begin to call the building’s super for the key so that they can discern if someone did actually die in the apartment or what. Just then, the door opens.

As it turns out, it seems that the police received two calls, a noise complaint from downstairs, and a call from within the apartment itself. Interesting. From what I gather, one of their girlfriends called in a domestic dispute. She said that her boyfriend hit her with a bat or a golf club or some other blunt object. This explains the cops exclamation, “What happened to your head?” upon opening the door. But it doesn’t end there my good readers, it gets better… After getting bludgeoned, it seems that the girl stabbed her boyfriend in the leg. Of course, each denied all of this to the police when questioned. In fact, the girl even insisted that she didn’t make the call, to which the cop responded, “Let me see your phone.” Dumbasses!

Another choice nugget was overhearing one of the cops say, “I’m not going to find any more weed in this bag am I?” as they were walking down the hallway… In the end (5AMish now), they took one person away in a squad car, and gave another some kind of citation.

Folks, it’s going to be a long day today @ the Library, and this makes me exceptionally Woeful.


~ by Woeful on May 29, 2008.

49 Responses to “No Peace”

  1. I feel your pain. I can’t wait to move to the country.

  2. That’s awful. Your living situation make me now appreciate my neighbors — “professional dancer” who comes home at 3-4am every Wednesday and the suspicious man below who not only thinks he’s a rockstar (Guitar Hero fanatic), but also has people tapping on his window late at night and then leaving rather quickly.

    Hope your days get better (and you get some sleep!) now that the police are involved!

  3. Hopefully your workday will go rather smoothly! If not, then maybe you’ll have some well-deserved rest once you get home.

  4. Sounds like the people I lived next to in college. I was so sleep deprived.


    I just had a psycho next door neighbor move out a month ago. I had to call the cops on a weekly basis bc her music at 1AM would shake my bedroom wall. When the cops come, she would try to invite them in for drinks and tell them, “I just moved from _____bfe_______ and I just want to have a good time”.


  6. Hiya UW: I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.

    Sounds like you have quite the neighbors too Bridget. You and Max could probably share some great stories.

    Hello Chris: Thanks for stopping by.

    Katz, in college I bunked with three guys and our room was the first in the dorm. Every time someone came in [SLAM] the door would hit the wall that my bed was up against. Sucked!

  7. It’s much worse for me Hipstrlibrarygrl because this is a condo that I own… I can’t just ditch when my lease is up. But I am getting more and more pissed at the owner who is renting his unit out. For a while he was doing six month leases which meant people constantly moving in and out…

  8. Feel your pain. I have lived in apartments various times, and tards like that are pretty much a given, especially if close to a campus. But even not in campus settings, still. Hang in there and hope it does get better.

  9. I think I may be one of your neighbors…heh…

    Seriously though, sorry that your neighbors suck. Is there a condo association that you can go to?

  10. Bad news, Woeful. You’ve got my sympathy, for the sad little it’s worth.

  11. I love my neighbors on either side of me, but for the past 10 years this one house has constantly fostered horrible people. First it was some people who blasted Frank Sinatra into the back of our house from 1-5 in the morning. Then some red necks who got drunk, practically drowned their children in the pool and got into screaming matches in the morning. Now we have some suspicious people who we think are growing weed and have crazy parties that spill out of the house with trash everywhere. I swear I want to take a wrecking ball to that cursed house.
    I feel better now. *sigh*

    But good luck to you with the new neighbors.

  12. Hi Dances, thanks for commenting.

    Rachel, now there is somebody two floors below me bouncing a basket ball in their kitchen… WTF? Yeah, I’m definitely going to have to say something to the association.

    Thanks Kevin.

    Hello Lisa: I’ve always had great neighbors… Until now. Grrr…

  13. Sounds like my college neighbors. We had weekend phone calls to the cops due to the fact they were pot-dealers. Out of their apartment. After 4 months of phone calls to the cops, they were finally evicted when there was gun fire inside the apartment. What losers. I love my current neighbors but still wish to live in a house. Apartments and Condos suck.

  14. Hi Kate! I’ve had good luck overall in condos and town houses. Although I’m fairly handy around the house, I hate yard work, and shoveling… So I really prefer the condo life. I haven’t experienced any gunshots and I don’t care to, but the next building over did have a major drug bust recently. All that perfectly good dope, down the drain… The horror!

  15. If the association ends up not being able to do anything about it we should chat. I spent a good chunk of time in college hanging out with fraternity boys. Because of this I have a great arsenal of pranks at my disposal. The questions you have to ask yourself are: How much fun do I want to have at their expense? How childish am I willing to be? 😉

  16. … I’ll keep it in mind.

  17. blasted Frank Sinatra into the back of our house from 1-5 in the morning.

    Sounds like an episode from the Sopranos. 😉

  18. Man, makes our neighbors who leave their dog alone in the apartment occasionally sound great. Problem with that is, the dog appears to have separation anxiety and will whine for HOURS until someone comes home. Really sucks when the darn animal is left alone at night.

  19. The howling dog scenario isn’t any better Arkham.

  20. Around here it’s generally observed that it’s not a proper party if the police haven’t been called, and that you’re just plain amateurs if no-one’s been stabbed, bludgeoned, or rohypnolled. Preferably all three.

  21. I have neighbors that drag around suitcases full of crack between houses at 12:30pm …while they walk their toddler in a stroller.


  22. Hello Gullybogan! For the most part I feel the same way, however, in an apartment building with dozens of families including those ranging in age from 9 months to 90 years, every night a party should not make.

    Hi K: My next encounter will involve telling the family two floors down that their little “athlete” is rattling my shelves by bouncing his basketball ad infinitum in their apartment. I can’t wait to see their faces when I tell them that I can’t take it anymore in lieu of the recent rash of violence that has disrupted the former tranquility of our once peaceful abode… The bludgeoning and stabbing and all up on my floor… As I’m fairly certain they are unaware of it. Ha!!

  23. Oh, Woe! I don’t think I could handle living in NYC! And FORGET about living in an apartment complex. I need my big Victorian house and double lot! I don’t think I could handle living in such close quarters with others…I would be the one doing the stabbing and bludgeoning!

    Have some wine, you’ll feel better. That’s what I’m doing. Or drink so much scotch that you can’t hear any of them.

  24. Well, I made tacos for dinner today, and am now well into my second margarita… At least I have tomorrow off.

  25. Oooooooooooo…Tequila. Patron, I hope.

    God, I’m so bored. At home by myself on a Saturday night drinking wine with no decent TV or movies to watch.

    I wish I had some Tequila.

  26. It’s not Patron, but it’s not bad either. Hey did you ever get to watch Galactica? That would be a good way to pass the time…

  27. I tried watching it on that website I told you about. But the resolution was crap and I got pissed, so I stopped. I really need to break down and buy it.

    Someone lent me Firefly. I suppose I could watch that. I’ve heard it’s pretty amazing. Have you seen it? Thoughts?

    My dog just popped his chain outside a few minutes ago and one of the resident crackheads entered my mudroom and knocked directly on my kitchen door to return him to me. I had to answer in my pajamas. He approximately 8 teeth, from what I could see. Frightening. I SO live in the hood (well, it’s an Iowa hood, but I still think that qualifies).

  28. I never saw Firefly, but I liked Serenity. I’m a big fan of Joss Whedon. Watch that, it should be good. They network showed Firefly out of sequence and that’s part of what killed it (Network dumbasses). The DVDs are in the right order. Have fun… And yes, BUY Galactica you won’t be disappointed.

    … And NO hood is a good hood. Be careful.

  29. Yeah, I like Whedon as well. Always liked Buffy and Angel. I swear I heard that he has a new show in the works. Know anything about that?

    I suppose I’ll take my wine and head for the living room and some Firefly action. I’ll let you know how it is. I heard the series is better than Serenity…The patron that lent me Firefly lent me that as well and she told me to watch Firefly first.

    Sooooooooo…enjoy your margaritas and your day off tomorrow!

  30. I love Buffy too… He’s involved in a few things but I can’t think of what off the top of my head. Have fun, and thanks!

  31. I hate apartment living. My last apartment I had a crack head – lady of the night living directly below me. I had to listen to the noise all night long. I am so glad I am out of that place.

  32. Thanks for stopping by Scott. My favorite building story happened several months back when I was riding the elevator up with one other passenger, a drunk black lady who after a moment of silence looked at me and asked, “what do you do?” LOL… I usually wear a jacket and tie. I consider myself to be a very well dressed librarian.

  33. OK, I’m hooked after watching the first episode! It’s SO good. I can’t wait to watch more tonight!

  34. … If you were nearby I’d let you borrow my BSG DVDs.

  35. umm… I think I’m the obnoxious neighbor in my hood. Last week my birthday bbq, in the back yard with creamed corn wrestling… lots of merriment, drinking and mirth….my next door neighbor, an old dude who lives alone, was pretending to be working in his yard and just happened to have to get a ladder out (to see over the fence) while my friend Tessa and I wrestled in the corn filled pool… I can only imagine what he thinks about me…. at least we were done by 9 or so….

  36. Hiya Grind: Once, twice, three times a year is a must… But every day is too much, especially when it becomes a bloodsport.

  37. Sound like you live in a bigger shithole than you work in!

  38. Dave, Sean may be right about it being the City of the damned.

  39. Thanks, Woe. I really WILL buy them. I just have a feeling that I won’t have much time this summer. Summer Reading Program registration begins tomorrow. For the next seven weeks, my life will be hectic, to say the least. Hellish is probably a better term.

    Come August, I will buy the BSG DVDs and we shall discuss!

  40. By then I should have a decent idea of what is happening to end the series… Right now it’s fantastically convoluted. Season four is not like the other three seasons, not in a bad way, just incredibly different.

  41. It’s real-life “Cops”!

  42. Urg! No more apartment living for me, thanks….I guess we all have our apartment horror stories.

    Your goons remind me of when I was a grad student and this clueless 20 year old moved into the apartment below me. I was awakened at 2:30 a.m. by a horrendous pounding. Once I figured out it was coming from her apartment, I went down and banged on her door.

    Seems she couldn’t sleep and had decided that it would be a good time to hang up Christmas lights all along her ceiling…by pounding nails into our concrete block walls! (If you were a Calvin and Hobbes fan, you might remember the comic where Calvin was pounding nails into the coffee table and his Mom runs in and says, “What are you doing?!” and he looks at her like “well, duh!”..that was the look she gave me when I suggested she try hammering during daylight hours.

  43. Hi Tracy >:)

    Midge… Thanks for commenting!

  44. OH GAWD! I am SO laughing my ass off right now!

    ‘What fresh hell is this I wonder’

    Now THAT’S a choice nugget!

    ‘A perfect example was a brutally rendered “Dead Or Alive” several weeks ago that prompted the downstairs neighbor to have little chat with them lest he call the police. My personal favorite was a strenuously tortured rendition of Sublime’s Doin’ Time: “…got this relationship, I love her so bad, but she treats me like shit…”’

    I’m cryin’!

  45. The truly ridiculous thing is that these kids are spoiled preppy morons… I’m positive their fathers are paying their rent, there is no way they could afford to live here otherwise.

  46. I hear you on neighbors. We have one next to us that keeps his gutter maker in our garage and won’t get it out then he comes over and asks for a beer and while I go to get it he opens the door and lets his dog (who leaves little nuggets in our yard daily) into our house to scare our kitten. Our other one went off his meds and moved the other neighbors boat trailer into our driveway and mowed a quarter of our lawn when we were at work, then opens all his car doors and blasts music as loud as he can all morning.

  47. My sympathies Jess 😦

  48. my former neighbors used to like to bring the whole contents of the after hours club home and blast techno usually starting at 2 or3a.m on a school night, when my girlfriend jumped up and down on the floor one night all i heard was “someone should punch that bitch”, which lead me to race down the stairs with and pound on the door, when the shithead who lived their finally came to the door i explained to him that he had about ten seconds to get everyone out and then i was calling the cops and coming down with a baseball bat to start beating people senseless (it helps to be about 6’4 and 200lbs when saying this) which i wouldn’t normally do but i’d completely blown a gasket cuz this was like the tenth time it happened, he smirked, i then bounced his head off the wall twice and it was the last time he had a party without asking.

  49. Asshats! Thanks for stopping by Kono.

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