Is This Porn?

Barb WireI need to preface this story by telling you about “Mr. Magoo.” Mr. Magoo is heavily involved in the Friends of the Library. He is a fixture @ the Library and has been ever since he retired nearly three decades ago. When he was my age he was fighting the Japanese in the South Pacific… Last Summer, on the hottest most humid day of the year, as everyone was melting and he said, “This isn’t hot. New Guinea is hot!” Though he’s well into his 90s, he always takes the stairs, never strains to hear a thing, and is always on the go. He attributes his good health to a steady diet of bacon and eggs for breakfast, copious amounts of scotch in the evenings, and for having never been married.

Anyway, as I’m sitting at my desk he comes up to me with a VHS tape in his hand that somebody donated… And asks me if it’s porn. I look up to see a copy of “Barb Wire” and laugh. I assure him that it’s an R-Rated flick based on a comic book, and he responds, “Good! I want to sell it for the Friends, but I wasn’t sure if it was porn so I just needed to make sure.” Then he turned and walked away…

Who knows, maybe before putting it up for sale he watched it on the 40″ flat screen HDTV he recently bought? I wouldn’t be at all surprised.

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~ by Woeful on April 29, 2008.

18 Responses to “Is This Porn?”

  1. Porn would have improved that movie.

  2. 🙂

  3. I miss the pre-plastic-surgery Pamela. She was drop dead gorgeous back in the day. She’s morphed into something almost unrecognizable.

  4. I already have a stalker K… Although she’s been gloriously absent for a while!

  5. Does the library even rent porn? What a weird question.

  6. Hi Bryna: No, we do not loan “porn,” and that’s why he wanted to know if it was porn. If it was porn it would have gone into the trash… Or perhaps one of the guys from Tech Services would have taken it?

  7. I keep arguing that if we’re really all that worried about the decline in loan figures we should heed the advice bank managers used to give small independent booksellers and put aside a seedy corner of the library for the “adult” market. We could loan out all the dog-eared paperback romances and westerns “under plain wrapper.” If anyone had the nerve to complain we’d just say that some despicable swine had stolen the originals and left substitutes to cover the crime.

  8. Kevin has a super point. Pamela Anderson. Isn’t she like a 60 yr old with hep c ? Reminds me of a skinny Anna Nicole.

  9. If we were working for shareholders instead of taxpayers that would be a great idea Kevin!

    Hi Upset: Pam does have Hep, and is getting up there… Yet this does not seem to phase a lot of men. She’s not my deal, never has been…

  10. we have a patient who sounds a lot like mr magoo. he’s 104 years old and puts his healthy longevity down to a glass of whiskey every evening and a t-bone steak twice a week

  11. Wow, he’s got about a decade on Magoo!

  12. he’s going to be 105 in july. I’ve blogged about him before (as Barnacle Bill), he gave a great speech at the DON’s farewell

  13. Awesome!

  14. If I can live to be a “Mr. McGoo” I’ll be a happy man!

  15. Yeah, if you’re going to live to be 95 you need to do it while in good shape, not living off a machine otherwise what’s the point?

  16. “He attributes his good health to a steady diet of bacon and eggs for breakfast, copious amounts of scotch in the evenings, and for having never been married.”

    I’m banking on, ‘never been married.’

  17. He seems to think so.

  18. I think, it is not

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