High School

I had to go to one of the local high schools today for one of our community outreach programs.

It was like I never left high school… Less than five seconds after I walked through the door their security guard was hassling me. It was a bright sunshiny day today but inside it was dark and noisy so it was initially hard to see or hear anything. I took about three steps towards the “office” door to sign in when I heard someone yelling. Apparently, I mistakenly thought that I had to sign-in at the main office, when I was supposed sign-in at the “security office.” Who knew? He was like, “Where are you going?” I told him I was going to the office the sign-in. He responded, “NO! You need to sign in here!!”

Then there was more than a little confusion over why I was there, and where I was from. The conversation went something like this:

Guard: “Why are you here?”

Me: “I’m here for a program in the Library.”

Guard: “OK, and who are you with?”

Me: “The Library.”

Guard: “No where are you from?”

Me: “The Library.”

Guard: “You’re here for the library?”

Me: “Yes, I’m here for the library, and from the Library, the public library!”

Guard: “Ooohhh…. OK, I’ll call to find out what’s going on.”

Me [thinking I just told you what’s going on]: “Thanks.”

… Boy am I glad that I don’t have to deal with him on a daily basis… Or the rest of his ilk. I am so glad that high school is nothing more than a distant memory for me at this point. No lie, 5 seconds and I’m being hassled by an “authority figure.” It really was like I never left the place.


~ by Woeful on April 9, 2008.

23 Responses to “High School”

  1. Woeful, were you a trouble maker in school? lol.

  2. Hello Lisa: I was always a good student, but school work came easy to me. I got along with everybody, from the burnouts to the honors kinds and jocks. I was like two different people back in the day. While I never applied myself fully academically, I did my work and stayed out of trouble the best I could… Then, then bell rang and I dropped acid and got good and baked as much as I could. 😉

  3. *headdesk, headdesk, headdesk.* EXACTLY why I hated high school. Well, one of the reasons, anyhow.

    I did high school registrations once about a year ago, and me and my coworker who are both in our early 20’s went… well, we both still look high school age. It wasn’t as bad as your experience, but it definitely reinforced that “I’m SO GLAD I’m done with this BS!” thought.

  4. Hi Xandara! It was primarily a registration fest. I don’t look like I can be in high school anymore, but I do still get carded on occasion. I despise hyper restrictive environments…

  5. Ugh. The security guards when I was in high school were no different. How you can be on a power trip from being on security detail at a high school is beyond me.

  6. Hello Rachel: When I told the story to my colleagues they were like, “The hot security guard!?” I told them that there must have been a shift change because I got a middle-aged grumpy guy instead. But I did see the hot one as I was leaving… Story of my life.

  7. waiting for the bell to ring before you drop acid, what a wuss… 🙂

  8. The last time I did a program at the high school, when I was leaving (after the “late” bell had rung), a teacher came out of a classroom and said, “You’re late!” I said, “yes, I am – by about 20 years.” He said, “What? Aren’t you a student?” and I said, “Not anymore – I’m 39 years old – but thanks for the compliment!”

  9. Ha!

  10. Things either seem to go like that, or you can walk into a school completely unnoticed. Go figure.

  11. Ah yes, the barely literate and certainly lacking in any form of social graces school security guards. No wonder a lot of kids hate high school if they get harassed by asshole wannabes like that.

    “So, you are here for the library and from the library?” You know that by saying that you just shifted his paradigm, not that he would know what that is. So glad I left high school ages ago, which may be more education than that rent-a-cop ever had.

  12. Hi Bloggrrl!

    Dances: I should have said “media center” but was flummoxed after he yelled at me from across the room before I even got my bearings on where I was. Nothing like stepping one step into a dim, loud space and having some shout at you, then interrogate you.


  13. I am surprised. A lot of you actually had security at your school. We never did, and still don’t to my knowledge. Even after 9/11. The most they did was “lockdown” when the local police told us their was a known registered sex offender cross dresser spotted nearby our school.
    I guess I should feel lucky, but at the same time worried. lol

  14. As far as I remember, we had a plain clothes security guard who roamed around, but no security office. People just signed into the main office to get a visitor’s pass.

    I understand the need for security. But the concept of a highly visible security office (and guards) is more about perception than about actual safety. I mean, if someone is going to go postal, the guard in the security office would be first target after a psycho entered the building. Or maybe this is the logic, put someone expendable there in order to give someone else time to call the police… A lead magnet if you will.

  15. I was pretty much the same kind of student as you were, Woe.

    Although I do agree with effing, kind of wussy to wait until after school to blaze/drop. Maybe next time you make a school visit, you should try it out. It would make for an interesting presentation on your part, I reckon.

  16. I don’t know, if you drop a hit of blotter acid you better clear your calendar for the day… Wake and bake was not uncommon though. 😉

  17. I remember working at restaurants in my youth when all the cooks would be peaking during rush hour. I was always so blown away by the fact that they never lost their shit completely on the line. I would be curled up in a ball on the floor rocking back and forth muttering to myself, “It’s just a trip, It’s just a trip…”

    I smoked pretty much every day before school (and during 3rd period study hall while I was “out selling ads for the student newspaper”) senior year and still managed to graduate third in my class. Would have been second-ranked if I hadn’t been so fucking ripped all the time.

  18. Now security guard is a thing I could never imagine on my high school. I saw guards at schools in movies, but never on my own eyes. And I hope, that my children would never need a guard in their school… It is such a abnormal and sick imagination that children can kill each other. Horrible…

  19. Hi Susan, cool burners! Thanks for stopping by.

  20. My favorite is when the guard gets angry because I walk in without signing anything after deciding she is never going to end her private cell phone call.

  21. Thanks for commenting Mark. It’s good to have some input from a high school student. Just in case you haven’t figured it out, all adults aren’t dicks. I don’t know what it is about the high school paradigm that seems to bring out the fascist in many adults but it’s something that is still in full effect… More than ever it seems.

    Just deal with it for the time being. It gets better, really (school, not necessarily life). College is a really amazing experience that immerses you in an environment with all kinds of people and gives you a broad range of experiences and views from people of all races, creeds, and religions.

    The sad thing is, if they treated you guys more like real human beings rather pseudo human beings you would be more receptive when they tell you something that isn’t easy to hear but essential to know… What I’m getting at is that just because they’re dicks doesn’t mean that they’re always wrong either.

    Always use your intelligence, and your free will an you’ll make the best decisions you’re capable of making.

  22. Hmm. What part of the library doesn’t he understand, and where did they import this guy from the airport?

  23. Hi SG: I think they grew him at the dick farm.

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