Suzie Crank

Today was an interesting day that was filled with hours of boredom followed by moments of terror and panic. We had a full ensemble cast consisting of: Buddy Sunshine, W.C. Fields, Space Ace, Special Ed, and Typhoid Mary. Each of these Irregulars had a walk-on at some point during the day, others were present taking up screen time concurrently.

The highlight of my day was an appearance by a new Irregular who I’ve dubbed “Suzie Crank.” Suzie is a walking disaster area, and it didn’t take long to discover this about her. She’s middle-aged, blonde, and without any doubt in my mind, a meth user. She desperately needed to alter and save her resume to a CD-R/W. Sadly, we do not have any CD burners @ the Library so she was out of luck. It took a while to explain all of this as she had a hard time staying focused on anything for more than 3 seconds.

I gave her a few options and told her to invest in a flash drive, the concept of which was a strain for her outrageously misfiring synapses to latch onto. She was extremely hyper fidgeting around and even twitching. She parroted, “Sorry about that” multiple times apologizing for shutting down the computer immediately upon logging on as she erroneously thought that she was pushing the eject button on the CD-ROM drive. In her haste, she accidentally hit the power switch instead causing a shitstorm for confusion and angst. She also repeated a lot of, “OK OK OK” time and again after I showed her how to do something. All in all, it was an extremely exhausting experience.

Suzie Crank told me that she’d be back to do more work, so it looks like we might have an ongoing storyline playing out for your amusement… And my torture. Time will tell.

… Lastly, to cap it all off, late in the day the custodian found a book in the Men’s Room entitled, Getting In Touch With Your Inner Bitch.


~ by Woeful on March 12, 2008.

13 Responses to “Suzie Crank”

  1. *comfort*

  2. [twitch]

  3. Apparently the bathroom user needed to get in touch with his more “rough” femenine side? That sounds so wrong.

  4. I half wish we didn’t have CD burners because my technophobe coworkers won’t learn how to use the software. As much as I love my lunch getting cold while I go help someone put their resume on a CD… *sigh* But maybe I’m just bitter because yesterday I was pulled away from my precious off-desk time to “fix” two computers, one of which wouldn’t connect to the Internet (cable was unplugged) and one of which had no picture on the monitor (cable was unplugged).

  5. Reminds me of a few days back when I was off desk and got a call to go to Ref to help a woman with something. As it turns out all she needed was a quick copy/paste/send email job that anyone who was on desk could have done… This irks me like nothing else.

  6. This woman sounds to me like she needs help on a range of fronts and she probably can’t afford to invest in a flash drive. I think it is great that a person in such need turns to the public library. What are we going to do to assist this person?

  7. … Have lots of patience.

  8. Well I wasn’t at work yesterday but I’m told we had “transgendered working girls” soliciting folks in the parking garage. I’m so sorry I missed that. Seriously.

  9. Nice Grind – LMAO!!

  10. “Getting In Touch With Your Inner Bitch”

    That was going to be the title of my book! Dammit!

  11. Sorry to bring you down G.

  12. I think that you should direct these characters to the nearest circus. Ha.

  13. That’s exactly where many of them belong, the freak show.

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