My Cup Runneth Over

It was like someone opened up the lunatic spigot today. Among others characters, Space Ace paid us a visit. He always smells like a quart of Quaker State. Recently, we found out why. His camper’s head gasket is shot so he’s been pouring oil into the thing like there’s no tomorrow. He came in because he wanted to know the location of the nearest Chase bank.

While I was looking into it, one of our regulars told him that it’s located next to the police station. After the guy gave Space Ace this tip, he came over to me and said that from the looks of Space Ace, “He probably knows where the police station is located.” I nodded, and told him that he has no idea how true that is.

As Space Ace was leaving, he stopped by and asked me what I did for Valentine’s Day. First he asked me what side of a supporting column he “slipped” by on his way over. I told him that I had no idea, then I indicated the general direction from which he came. He told me that it’s important which side he passed by, because, “There’s a barrier over there” as he gestured toward the column.

With a straight face, I indicated that I had no idea where he came from. Hell, he could be from Tralfamador for all I know. Then, I told him that I went out to dinner last night. He said that he went out to eat too, at St. Paul’s Church. He added that there wasn’t anything too special going on there either, that “there were no Go-Go dancers or anything.” He said that that would have made his night.

… So it goes.

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~ by Woeful on February 15, 2008.

15 Responses to “My Cup Runneth Over”

  1. Yeahhhh Slaughterhouse Five reference! 😀 hehehe

  2. 😉

  3. Go Go Dancers? that would have made my night too

  4. No Go-Go dancers at St. Paul’s?! What kind of lame church is that?

  5. Hi Marny! Although no Go-Go dancers were involved, the great Thai food that I was eating, and the beautiful woman I was with made my night…

    Hello Maggie: Thanks for stopping by… The funny thing is, he was serious and said it at full volume so everyone nearby could hear. LOL… Between that and the heavy smell of motor oil in the air, he really is ridiculous.

  6. Dude! I was just like that in here as well. Nuts nuts nuts everywhere nuts! By the time I got home, I was ready to lose my own damn mind.
    I want to work alone – preferably from home.

  7. Hi Jessica: What a headache. It was one of those days where there were no straightforward transactions. Here’s a hypothetical example:

    Patron: I’d like to get a list of my State Reps.
    Ref: No problem – Produces list
    Patrons: No. I need it for Alaska.
    Ref: No problem – Produces another list
    Patron: No. I need it for Alaska in 1979.
    Ref: Produces list and smiles
    Patron: Good.
    Ref: [Thinking – Go fuck yourself.]
    Anything else? No? Have a good one!

  8. Space Ace is a living legend!
    Although I do agree that Go Go Dancers would brighten up a church.

  9. I know I say this a lot but your blog makes me so happy that I don’t work with the public.

  10. Thanks for commenting Roaf!

    Hi Ashley: It’s a challenge each and every day…

  11. I’ve never* forgiven those Tralfamadorians for destroying the universe.

    That was a transportation-related incident too, i seem to remember, although i don’t think it had anything to do with the head gasket.

    * i mean ‘never’ in a puny, temporally-limited human way, of course.

  12. I always say more people would go to church if there was a bar in it. Seriously, plus the church would be raking in the cash.

  13. Hi Gullybogan: … Of course!

    Bingo and booze night. 😉

  14. “He probably knows where the police station is located.” I nodded, and told him that he has no idea how true that is.”

    Hahahaha!

    I think you need to create some sort of chart so I can keep up with the whole array of kooky characters that roam through Library Land.

  15. It would be like Candyland only insaner.

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