W.C. Fields

I’m not sure if this was a one time cameo, or the first act of a more elaborate role by a patron I’ve never seen before @ the Library, but a guy came in today who looked, sounded, and acted just like W.C. Fields, only this guy was wearing a NY Giants cap instead of Fields’ trademark brim.

I first noticed this man as he staggered past the Reference Desk. Shortly thereafter, the man staggered over, and asked me if I could point him to any books on workers compensation.

… At this point, I immediately knew what I’d be blogging about this evening, this was almost too good to be true.

No problem! I checked the Catalog and found both a video and a reference book on the subject, then led the staggering man over to both. I explained that reference books don’t leave the building. The man had no problem with that, so I indicated where the copy machines are located should he find anything worthwhile. He thanked me, then staggered off to a nearby table.

About 45 minutes later, I see him stagger by the Desk again, only this time in the other direction heading towards the copy machines. In true Fields’ fashion, under his breath he mutters to himself while he’s en rote. Almost immediately upon his arrival at the bank of machines, he shouts to me, “Is this machine working, or what?”

So, I leave the Desk to assist the man with his copying. When I arrive, I see that he has the book oriented the wrong way on the scanning bed. I rectify the problem, and asked him if he dropped a dime in the machine? He indicated that he had. The machine verified this as well. Much to my chagrin, however, the machine wouldn’t copy. It just kept making a noise that I have never heard come out of a copier (or anything else) before.

Sigh… What has W.C. Done to this machine? What could he have done to the machine in the five seconds that he was trying to make a copy? He laid hands on it, and wonky it went. To expedite the matter, I hit the coin return to retrieve his dime, peeled the book from the copier, and stuck it on the bed of the next machine. The new machine worked perfectly. I told him that if he needed anything else he should feel free to get me and that I’d do the best I could to help him out. He thanked me, and I went about my business. As I left him, I could hear his muttering grow fainter with each step I took until I could hear it no more.

When he was finished, he brought the book back to the Reference Desk, but I was in the Reference Office so he just yelled to me that he was going to leave the book, which he did. Then, he staggered away with what he had found.

It’s anyone’s guess whether or not W.C. Fields will be a recurring Irregular or not… Time will tell. Oddly enough, the next person to use the machine that gave W.C. all that trouble had no problem making copies. In fact, it worked perfectly for the remainder of the day, and without one objectionable sound.

 

~ by Woeful on January 4, 2008.