War Stories

The Library’s annual holiday party is a great place to discover otherwise unknown Library stories from colleagues. This year’s enlightening and entertaining tidbit is exceptionally choice, so I thought I’d pass it along for your amusement. We used to have a homeless woman frequent the Library who used a wheelchair, but didn’t actually need the wheelchair to walk. She also smelled like that which can not even be described, but I digress… Anyway, she would roll in an immediately head for the Ladies’ Room. As soon as the door closed she would often curse profanity at full volume.

As it turns out, one day unbeknown to “The One Who Reeks” there was a woman using the next stall. Apparently the lady sat there frozen in terror as smelly ranted on and on like a frothing lunatic. So, the woman used her cell phone to call the Reference Desk to say that she was trapped there, in a stall in our restroom, and afraid to come out because of loud and stinky. My coworker relayed the message to the Library Director, who immediately called the police.

Now here’s the fun part… When the cops arrived, they wound up arresting the woman who placed her call from the porcelain throne instead of The One Who Reeks. As it turns out, the lady who placed the telephone call had a warrant out for her arrest for assault. LMAO!!

Yessiree, sometimes it’s freak vs. freak, @ the Library.


~ by Woeful on December 9, 2007.

14 Responses to “War Stories”

  1. @ the Library, indeed. lol At least that hasn’t happened in my library- yet.

  2. Too funny!

  3. What is it they say about two wrongs make a right? Or at least, canceling each other? That is a funny story.

  4. That might have been the best story yet.

  5. I thought you’d like that 🙂

  6. Wow, I thought my library was bad! (guess it really isn’t).
    Great story, Woeful!

  7. Thanks Angsty! I’m glad to report that The One Who Reeks was recently committed, and therefore, no longer terrorizes our facilities.

  8. My current branch is the hub of all things transient and late stage alcoholic. So we have incredibly ugly smelly freaks actually having sex in the bathrooms. And leaving dirty underwear behind, and vomiting all over the place. Lovely folks who really make me want to get a job in ILL.

  9. freak vs. freak. how apt!

  10. LOL… Library death match!

  11. I would enjoy my job so much more if we could have Patron Death Matches.

  12. HAHA, irony!

  13. This is too funny. I almost want to be a librarian.

  14. Hi Lisa: Thanks for reading! There’s never a dull moment, @ the Library…

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