Houston, We Have a Problem.

For some time, I’ve been hearing stories from my coworkers about a really bizarre guy who used to come in regularly before I began working @ the Library. Well folks, like a gift from the blogGod, he’s back for your enjoyment! Now without further ado, I give you “Space Ace.”

He told a colleague that he was a candidate in NASA’s astronaut program, and they required that he drive out to California. However, on his way out there he said that he “ran into a concrete barrier” and, subsequently, “NASA couldn’t track his aura anymore,” so he had to turn back.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I just hate it when the tracking satellite loses my aura, and can’t recover the signal. Bummer for him!

He was also spewing some gibberish about how the Communist Chinese have infiltrated San Francisco, and that he was afraid he was going to be arrested by them as soon as he left the building. This is interesting, because the Library is nowhere near San Francisco. Let this be a lesson to you, never underestimate the long arm of undercover Communist Chinese agents, they’re everywhere.

Whackadoo! On second thought, with all the drunken diaper wearing space jockeys these days, maybe NASA did recruit him?

Stay tuned, this is bound to be a real freakshow…


~ by Woeful on September 17, 2007.

8 Responses to “Houston, We Have a Problem.”

  1. Heh… can’t wait. You run into some real characters, don’t you?

  2. You make me realize how boring my job is! No strange patrons! 😦

  3. A very timely post since I just saw a CSI episode in which the evil-doers were card-carrying “the world will be invaded by snakes from outer space” believers – which of course resulted in murdering people they thought were aliens. The mind does play tricks on people.

  4. Aw, poor Space Ace and his missing aura…

    We have a delusional patron who thinks the governor and a local hospital are out to get him because he’s a Christian. He comes here to use our wireless because the FBI can’t track him here (the library’s lower level is underground). He thinks the governor had his phone wiretapped and then disconnected because of his efforts to document how he’s been persecuted on his website. We all are quite careful to stay on his good side, as he has had a number of restraining orders taken out against him.

    Other memorable delusionals include a guy who thought the DNR librarian was keeping very important articles from him because they would expose a state plot to destroy natural resources, a woman who thought we were editing her blog from the reference desk (the police later told us she was responsible for a stricter anti-stalking law in California, and people involved in the case were pretty sure she would end up killing someone someday), and a woman who thought the university hospital was keeping her MRI results from her because of something having to do with aliens.

  5. Ohhhhh my goodness! I don’t even know what to say. Working with the public makes you realize how weird people really can be… and almost makes me feel NORMAL in comparison! :X

  6. thanks for visiting public librarian! Some of our patrons are really scary aren’t they…

    Hi Cara! 🙂

  7. Hmm. I think Lisa Nowak could have used a driving partner.

    AT least she’d be able to stop and pee.

  8. Bizarre!!!

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