Today, a guy who comes in regularly walks up to me at the Reference Desk, and asks to sign-in to use one of our Internet computers. The guy is like 300lbs, has a full beard, grime encrusted hands, and labors to breathe so badly that he sounds like Darth Vader. As he turns to leave, I notice that in BIG white letters his otherwise black T-Shirt reads:


Female Body Inspector


~ by Woeful on September 10, 2007.

18 Responses to “FBI”

  1. Eeeew.

  2. [strained breathing] Are you ready for your inspection darling? 😉

  3. Only after you purify those grubbo paws in purifying flame.

  4. I can picture FBI collapsing from a heart attack “mid-inspection,” and crushing the female body under examination. As it is, every time I hear him pull air into his lungs I think it will be his last breath. A little excitement and he’s done.

  5. Sounds like beard boy would be a better CIA (Creep In Action)

  6. Is anyone besides me thinking about the gluttony victim in the movie “Seven” right about now?

  7. Oh, he’s definitely a CIA, Emon.

  8. Hahaha, the irony.

  9. FBI is more like Baron Harkonnen, dailytri 🙂

  10. No air means children and small animals can outrun him.

    I wonder what chain of events turns someone into a crippled soiled man so outside the norm he is a subject of ridicule and revulsion from strangers. I hope it is a long road, not a short one. A short one would make it too easy to get there.

  11. Indeed Max. I’m fairly certain he’s homeless. I find it extremely uncomfortable to even be around him since his breathing is so loud and strained. I can’t imagine sitting next to him for a full Internet session. His labored breathes make me anxious the way underwater scenes in movies make me want to hold my breath until the person comes up for air…

  12. Wow. Words escape me. Love CIA though.

  13. Words escape me too, VL. Cara is spot on, what would possess this guy to wear that T-Shirt is beyond me? The juxtaposition is extreme!

  14. Woe, he is homeless. He did not pick that shirt out on a store rack or select it that morning from his wide selection of attire in his walk in closet. When you do not have a shirt and do not have the resources to purchase a shirt, a shirt is a shirt and what it says on it and where you get it really does not matter. It is ironic and entertaining because of its irony for what it says, but he did not choose it odds are it came out of a trash can.

  15. I’m not positive that he’s homeless. Using my librarian senses I just get that tingly sensation when he appears… Either way, if he didn’t revel in the irony, he would surely wear the shirt inside out to deflect attention.

  16. Hehe… people are so wonderfully odd!

    First time here.. love the blog!

  17. Thanks for stopping by, Jayne!

  18. Yes, gluttony victim in Seven. Absolutely.

    Gluttony victim..probably hit on Vanity victim…approaching her with smooth FBI apparel.

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