The Telephone is Ringing…

Me [answering the phone]: Hello, this is your friendly neighborhood library [unholy hysterical shrieking]

Man: I’d like to renew some DVDs [blaring whales of what sounds like little girls in boiling water can be heard in the not so distant background], three DVDs[Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!].

Me: OK, I need your library[screeeeeeech!]card number[Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!].

Man: Sorry[WaaaaScreeeeeeech!!!]The number is 123xyz…[Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeech!]

Me: They’re due back on the 12th[AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhWaaaaaaaaaa!]

Man: [Entirely drowned out by blood curdling screams of angst]What?

Me: They’re due back on the 12th[Drowned out again by the sweet sounds of the man’s “little princess”].

Man: [high pitched atonal sounds that can not be made into words] What?

Me: THE 12th![Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!]

Man: Thank you[Screeeeeeeee… CLICK]

Later in the day, the telephone rings again and I receive the call:

Me: Your Public Library!

Man: Wait one minute [man begins arguing with someone in the background about a parking space, it appears to be a woman. Angry words are exchanged and the man eventually makes his point by shouting, “SHUT UP!”].

Man: Sorry about that sir. I’m looking for the number of the law library.

Me: No problem, the number is 555-452-4781.

Man: Thanks.

… That’s what it’s all about!

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~ by Woeful on September 6, 2007.

11 Responses to “The Telephone is Ringing…”

  1. The law library? Seems tame enough. What if he’d asked for the number for the psych ward at the local hospital? Or better still, the number for the nearest gun shop!

  2. Hahahaha, oh man. The last bit is great. I’ve had calls like that, too. *comfort*

  3. We tend not to make judgments like that 🙂

  4. It was just one of those days, Cara!

  5. Nice! I guess such phone calls must be a welcome break from the peace and tranquility in the library itself.

  6. Now that is family values in action.

  7. LOL… It was a fantastically crazy telephone day, Max!

    Hi Roaf: the Library isn’t exactly a tranquil place anymore. We have designated quiet study areas, but overall the place is pretty loud. Either way, I can do without screaming kids while I’m trying to work…

  8. I think when someone becomes a parent a part of their brain shuts off sound made by their offspring. I’ve had conversations with patrons where their child is either shrieking at top volume or attempting to climb up their leg, de-pantsing the parent in the process. Funny.

  9. Man, if I did that when I was a kid I would have gotten killed. First, my parent would have immediately removed me from the venue (At this point, I would actually have something to cry about)… Then, as an example, I would have been summarily executed.

  10. People who tune out children should not be parents.

  11. I think you and I must have has the same parents….

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