A Now Regular Occurrence

I had to wake up Virus Guy today. Apparently, he passed out while using one of our PCs. I went over and he was face down on the keyboard and the computer was writing an endless series of:

ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

I called out, “Virus Guy.” “Virus Guy!” Trying to get his attention, but unfortunately, he wouldn’t wake up. So I gave his chair leg a good stiff kick and again said, “VIRUS GUY.” This got his attention. He lifted his head and with drool streaming from his lip said, “I’m so tired.”

No shit. I’m just glad “d” didn’t mean dead.

I wonder what the paperwork for something like that would be?


~ by Woeful on August 11, 2007.

13 Responses to “A Now Regular Occurrence”

  1. That’s just gross and funny…

  2. WAY gross! That’s why the kick. There was no way I was going to touch him. Colleagues would have probably used the “key” technique where they take a HUGE keyring full of keys and drop it near the slumbering person’s head. Unless the person is in a coma, that always does the trick!

  3. We have a patron, nicknamed “Reindeer Sweater” by staff, who passes out while using our computers. One minute he’s happily dressing up little girl avatars (he’s got to be in his 30s), the next his face has smashed into the keyboard. One of these days we’ll be calling an ambulance for him, I’m sure.

  4. you are totally hilarious. you make me want to blog again. all the tales you tell about the daily occurrences at your library are so familiar to me. it is unbelievable how many crazy people breeze through the library on any given day.
    a while back, a pregnant couple approached the reference desk. they informed the ref. librarian on duty that they were researching baby names and wanted to know what a few of them meant. she agreed, fingertips poised at the keys, ready to look up the meanings. “we were thinking of ‘calamari’. it’s such a pretty name. what does that mean?”
    my coworker sighed and said, “calamari means fried squid.”
    people are ridiculous.

  5. Welcome PL! We have more than one of these. Most of the time they are just drunk and pass out. I believe that Virus Guy’s somnolence is catalyzed by some kind of medication… Either way, it’s all drug related. As a general rule, straight people never let their faces hit the keyboard.

    Hi there Kelliemaria! Thanks for the love. BTW, to all the civilians out there, the situations I blog about are not isolated to my Library. It’s pretty much a systemic problem. LOL, calamari! Ohh, how’s my little escargot? Haaaaaa!

    Anyway, we have a new employee who comes from a retail background. She recently commented that we deal with some seriously freaky people in the Library. Apparently, in retail, the problem customers are mainly thieves, not freaks.

    Thanks for visiting, and keep reading.

  6. hello…earlier, i told you that you had inspired me to blog again (after a four month hiatus). so i have revamped my blog, changing the title and url in order to ensure my anonimity (i hope). i was wondering if i could link your page? you would most certainly be a welcome addition.

  7. Done.

  8. sweet!
    feel free to link me if you wish…

  9. Quality blog and how original – a great place for us to come and smell the flowers – do ou have flowers at the library?

    Hi from Dubai and great work….

  10. Hello Go! Smell the Flowers! Thanks. Although we don’t have “flowers” at the library, we do have a few plants. These monstrosities, however, are more like something you’d see in Jurassic Park than something you’d see anywhere else… Maybe New Guinea?

  11. That’s it. My nephew and I are going to stake out the library and bring our cell phone cameras. Maybe I’ll strike up a conversation with the librarian and ask him/her when is the best time to come observe the crazies!

    It’s sad because my library is just a few blocks away and it’s a really nice one too. It’s just that I tend to collect books rather than borrow them. But looking for crazies is a good enough reason as any, right? Right?

    BTW, I hope you get extra pay for dealing with these people!

  12. I agree with the person from Dubai. This blog is definitely an original. I’ve often thought about scraping together money and helping Woeful publish it!

  13. Thanks for the love Stiletto!

    … BTW, there is no “best time.” Irregulars are totally random.

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