Three Things

  1. Picture if you will, a man in a gray suit trying to make copies. The man is stymied. The copy machine isn’t working. He summons a reference librarian for help. The librarian explains to the man that the power cord draped over the top of the machine should have been the only clue he needed that the machine was out of service, after all, he had to move the cord to place his document. The librarian then instructs the man to use the shiny new machine sitting along side of the ancient defunct piece of crap he was trying to use.
  2. Shortly thereafter, another man approaches the reference desk. He walks straight up to the librarian who just finished helping the sartorial dumbass delineated by thing #1 above. Mid-sentence as he is talking to her, he looks to his right and says, “Catch!” as he throws a small ball down the hallway towards the Men’s Room. The ball barely misses a woman, who at that very moment opened the Lady’s Room door and stepped out into the hallway. After this near miss, the woman shot me a look as if to say, “WTF?” I answered her with a shrug. She immediately lasered the same look at the man. The man didn’t acknowledge the woman in any way. He would not be dissuaded from asking whatever question he so desperately needed an answer to. A short while later, the recipient of the ball exited the restroom. It was a boy, presumably the man’s son. Nice example you set there All-Star! Keep up the good work.
  3. Cut to the muffled sounds of terror reverberating from the elevator. The elevator doors open showing a small girl inside with a panicked look on her face that says, “This isn’t where I was.” She is all alone, and screaming bloody murder for her mother, who apparently didn’t make it onto the lift before the doors closed and carried her terrified offspring to lofty heights. Enter the older sister from sage left, who makes it to the elevator just in time for the doors to close again, eliciting even louder and more hysterical screams and sobs from the child than before. The screeching grows fainter as the elevator descends; Then, I hear louder screaming once again. The elevator obviously made it back down to the first floor, and the doors opened releasing the cauldron of angst contained inside to the open air. The sobs began to subside, and when the elevator reappeared a family unit exited the lift together. Balance was restored to The Force.

Just another day in Libraryland.

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~ by Woeful on July 24, 2007.

5 Responses to “Three Things”

  1. Sounds like libraryland could use some good old fashioned remediation…or a bouncer.

  2. We could use a full-time security guard.

  3. You don’t have a full-time security guard! Even the dinkiest public libraries in my neighborhood (Washington Heights, NYC) have a security guard who are, I might add, brutal with people like Man#1.

  4. Sadly, no Emon. However, the police do execute regular walk throughs… BTW, man #1 didn’t need policing, he needed common sense.

  5. […] Three Things Picture if you will, a man in a gray suit trying to make copies. The man is stymied. The copy machine isn’t […] […]

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