2 Brain Cells

My postings have been few and far between as of late, because I haven’t been at the Reference Desk for more than a few hours in the last couple of weeks. Instead, I’ve been insanely busy working on a special technology project. Sadly, this severely impacts my interaction with the general public, and subsequently, negatively affects my ability to convey stories for your amusement. Today, however, I received a phone call that went like this:

[Telephone Ringing]

Me: Hello, Nothingworkshere Public Library, how may I help you?

Female Caller: Do you know where I can get audiobooks?

Me: You can get audiobooks right here.

Caller: Really?

Me [raise eyebrow]: Yep, you can also borrow DVDs, and CDs from here if you’d like!

Caller [astonished]: Really? I’m looking for the new book about Princess Di on audiobook.

Me: OK, do you have the title?

Caller: No.

Me: OK, do you have the author’s name?

Caller: No.

Me [anguish]: OK, I’m going to check at Amazon.com and see what Diana titles were just released.

I give her three options, she likes the second one. I search our catalog for the title and come up empty. I’m getting desperate, so I shoot blindly from the hip and construct an audiobook only search for “diana.”

Me: We have one audiobook about Diana. It’s a book on tape.

Caller: Tape! You don’t have one on CD?

Me [wince]: No, it’s on a cassette.

Caller: What would I need to play that?

Me: You need a tape deck to play it.

Caller: And you don’t have it on CD? What would I need to play a CD anyway?

Me: Errr… A CD player.

Caller: Oh. OK, bye.


This woman has two brain cells; and they’re arguing with one another other.

~ by Woeful on July 13, 2007.

14 Responses to “2 Brain Cells”

  1. This is funny and sad at the same time, I would’ve had a really hard time not laughing at her on the phone.

  2. I’m prepared for almost anything when I’m at the desk. The other day some guy walked out of the Men’s Room carrying his shoes… It’s all pretty sad.

  3. Hahaha, oh my god, I have SO been there. It’s just as bad with old people trying to figure out the difference between a VHS tape and a DVD. And even a DVD vs. an audiobook on CD! *headdesk* Frusteration abound.

  4. Whenever I have a conversation like this, I think to myself, ‘Maybe this is the worst day of this person’s life, they suffered a concussion yesterday, a cerebral brain hemorrhage this morning and they took twice the amount of meds that were prescribed.’ Plus, I work with adolescents with mental health issues so I have a store of extra patience built up. 🙂

  5. hahaha two brain cells indeed.

    I knew a family of three kids – we used to say the twins split a brain cell, their brother got the rest.

  6. I think I’ve seen them in the library too…

  7. Make sure they get searched before they leave. All three are lying, conniving and manipulative thieves.

  8. Good to know.

  9. You just never know with people. Their parents I’m sure would have aborted if given a magical crystal ball that told the future.

  10. Hey, I thought you were about to pass out from all the painkillers? I’m about to drink a rum and coke!


    i’m down to 2 functioning Brain Cells meself!!

    & even thass questionable at times*


  12. Welcome Billywarhol. You just never know what crazy shit you’re in for, @ the Library.

  13. I’m testing…my willpower!

  14. LOL… OK then, Nietzsche. 😉

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