Happy Birthday America!


Uncle Sam

To Avoid Being a Dumbass

Don’t Use Your Cell Phone in the Library

Don’t Use Library PCs to Surf Porn

Don’t Bitch About Paying $.05 Fines

Don’t Use the Library as a Hotel

& for God’s Sake…

Organize Your Thoughts BEFORE You Speak With the Librarian!




~ by Woeful on July 3, 2007.

11 Responses to “Happy Birthday America!”

  1. What about receiving head from elderly library clerks? Is that acceptable?

  2. Welcome Qelqoth! It’s nice to see we’re back on track here again. As far as I’m concerned, anything that happens between two consenting adults is fine. If it happens in the library I only ask that it be discreet, and avoid staining any of the genealogical materials 🙂

  3. Happy birthday neighbours!!!
    P. from Canada

  4. Welcome to the party, Pascal!

  5. How about ‘Stop talking to the pretty librarian about Andy Warhol* – out loud – so you can impress her and the people standing in line to ask questions.’

    * Andy Warhol can be replaced with Fellini, Kubrick, Cervantes, Noam Chomsky, Stanislavski, 19th century knitting, Frank Gehry, Kafka, etc etc.

  6. Hi there emon! Feel free to add whatever annoys you the most. There were a million and one things I was considering using, but I decided to keep it brief and stick to the most common infractions. Thanks for stopping by!

  7. […] Happy Birthday America! [image] To Avoid Being a Dumbass Don’t Use Your Cell Phone in the Library Don’t Use Library PCs to Surf […] […]

  8. Wait – you can’t surf porn at the library? But why not?

    Don’t you have adult site blockers anyway?

    Guess I’ll have to wait for Quelqoth and the elderly lady.

  9. We don’t filter PCs outside of the Children’s library, and we don’t snoop on people, so they can do whatever they want as long as it’s discreet. It’s when the gay porn guy needs printing help that it crosses the line for me… Ewww.

  10. Ewww, indeed, for you!

  11. Yeah, I don’t really need to be that involved is anyones deal. A while back it was a foot fetish guy as well…

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