They’re Back!

The oddballs and lunatics are back in full force. Not our Irregulars, but random people who just happen to be a little more than a little off, have once again descended upon what has been a very peaceful place for the last few weeks.

Today, I wasn’t at the Reference Desk for more than 20 minutes when some old guy on the other side of the room decides to take off his belt and adjust his pants. He was trying to be discreet, however, he had a stack of books with him that needed to be set aside before said adjustments could be made. So, the man decides to place them under one of our security gates. This is a bad move.

Picture if you will, an old man with a stupefied look on his face, his belt in his right hand and his pants semi-undone with every single eye in the library on him because the books he placed caused the security alarm to sound continuously, and the lights to flash as if he was our one millionth customer!

No sooner does the sweet sound of silence fall than from out of the blue I hear: “Isn’t ‘indices’ a more common plural of the word index than ‘indexes’ is?” He continued, “Why do you have a sign reading, ‘indexes?'”

… Go away.

I respond: “I believe they’re interchangeable.”

Patron: Goes on and on about sloppy grammar, and how there shouldn’t be a place for it in a library. While he’s talking, I’m looking up the word “index” in Webster’s.

I tell the man that, “both spellings seem to be weighted equally.”

Patron (looking as if he just chewed some aspirin): “Why doesn’t anyone use ‘they are’ anymore either, instead of they’re?”

… You have got to be kidding me?

Me (thinking because people don’t have time today to use two words when one will do): “I’m not sure why people use the words they do?”

Patron wanders off disgusted, and I’m left thinking that I don’t have time to deal with anyone who has the time to shun the use of contractions.

At this point, a man on an Internet computer jumps out of his seat, throws his arms into the air, groans, and begins stomping around the floor like a child who didn’t get his way.

… I wonder what his malfunction is?

The man sits back down and once again begins to type. My colleague returns from his break, and I explain what I just wrote here. I inform him that I now need a break as well and leave…

5:00 can’t come soon enough.

Later in the afternoon, we had guest appearances by Special Ed, who was sitting alone at one of our Internet workstations talking to himself, and the Secret Agent who was aimlessly wandering around the stacks. Then we discovered the pants.

Apparently, some guy decided that he didn’t need his black pants anymore so he threw them into one of our toilet bowls. Now nobody saw anyone leave the restroom without any pants on, so I guess this was someone’s spare pair?

Check Please!


~ by Woeful on May 15, 2007.

2 Responses to “They’re Back!”

  1. Well at least you did not have to remove very abused & over used electric toilet and replace it with a new one today!

  2. Is that what you got stuck doing? Yep, I’m glad I didn’t have to deal with the pants in the pot. I left that to maintenance. It’s all union here, and I wouldn’t want to step on any toes anyway…

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