Bizarro World

It’s been far too quiet lately @ the Library. This is never a good sign, the serenity usually represents the calm before the storm. The freakishness that permeates the Library occasionally ebbs, then again builds to a critical mass until the pressure release blows, and all the freaks descend like a monkey on a cupcake. Today was that day.

Normally I don’t discuss personal matters here for the sake of being Dooced. However, every so often something so fantastically crazy happens that I feel obliged to blog about it regardless. Today was one of those days. Just after I began my shift, I was helping a patron with a computer problem and someone interrupted. I looked up to see one of our Irregulars holding a clipping from a newspaper. Henceforward this vagrant will be known as, “Newspaper Guy.” Newspaper Guy looks at me and smiles with glee. He holds before him the clipping, and congratulates me on my engagement. Umm… Thanks, I guess. He was like, “This is you, right!?” Ahhh… Yep.

Needless to say, I’m not comfortable with our schizoid population knowing my last name, and my other vital stats, like where I’m from, and where I was educated, etc… I’m even less thrilled about our schizoid population knowing the name, and vital stats of my radiant Ivy educated bride-to-be. This is WAY creepy. It violates my personal/professional buffer zone in a way that really skeeves me out.

Rounding out my day, just before closing we had to call the police on a woman who attempted to steal a video camera that was being used to record a library program on gardening. This bad seed was apprehended by our custodian as she was leaving, and the library director called the heat post haste. When I left, my boss was still there giving the local constables a statement. The woman was in police custody.

… A bizarre day, even in Libraryland.

~ by Woeful on April 23, 2007.

9 Responses to “Bizarro World”

  1. Stealing a video camera that was being used for a gardening show. That is classic.

    Pls post the lost bike sign, that should get people going.

  2. Oh Woeful, you are so cagey. How can you keep something like an engagement to yourself like that?

    Congratulations! Smooch!

  3. Congratulations on your engagement!

    I know what you mean about quiet times at the library. I’m always too nervous wondering what’s going to happen next to truly enjoy them.

    I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to shamelessly steal the phrase “like a monkey on a cupcake” and work it into my everyday conversation every chance I get.

  4. You have given me one more reason to elope…

  5. Wow… Who would think a wee bit of personal info. pertaining to yours truly would elicit such responses?

    Mr. Chubby: I’m way ahead of you. It’s already on the public bulleting board! Hehehe…

    Max: LOL, cagey. Thank you! I figured that if the local undesirables know about it, then keeping it a secret here doesn’t really matter all that much.

    Snarky: Yes, the lulls can sometimes trigger panic attacks. LMAO! The “monkey on a cupcake” phrase isn’t mine, but it is funny stuff. Feel free to use it. Maybe we can get it to become common vernacular…

    PL: With only two months of bachelorhood remaining I can give you lots of reasons to elope… monetary, stress, family… ALL kinds of reasons. I just keep telling myself that the honeymoon is just around the corner.

  6. Well Woeful, it was not some little piece of personal info
    like “i like cold pizza” or “I prefer tea with cream” there. Getting married is a life altering event.

  7. Yes, indeed Max. Life as I know it is over very soon; and a new one begins. Currently, I’m frantically packing and planning, and getting ready for my new life. Eloping sounds like an extremely good idea right about now!

    … And cold pizza isn’t bad either.

  8. Congratulations, Woeful! And just think – Max thought you were gay! heehee

    Now give me the address of where I can send some flowers….

  9. Thanks Stiletto! It’s all very exciting… And exhausting.

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