Dumbass Festival

Today we were inundated with dumbasses, the highlight of which was a woman I was helping to locate videos of the feature film variety. This otherwise normal woman, was a monumentally clueless pain in my ass. First she asked about how the fiction videos are organized… Alphabetically, by title. Then, as I’m searching the shelves for her movie, she wanders off muttering to herself something about already looking where I was looking. Then, she ventures into another aisle and from 10 feet behind me (never a good sign), I hear, “Now, what is this? This isn’t right either!” So I half-turn from my squatting position and say, “I don’t know. Let me finish working on this problem, then I’ll address whatever you found over there.”

It seems that Mrs. Dumbass wandered into the non-fiction videos and the Dewey Decimal System was too much for her fragile eggshell mind to bear. When I arrived, she twirled around pointing, and exclaimed that the videos in this particular aisle are “numbered.” I explained that they are divided by subject because they are non-fiction titles… That’s how we do it in the public library! Now I have seen this particular patron in the Library before, and this time she was carrying a stack of books, so I know that she is familiar with the Library, and its organization. But you wouldn’t know it by the foggy haze she seemed to be in as she was twirling around amidst the non-fiction videos. Witnessing the spectacle, and listening to her yammer on about not knowing (anything) one would wonder how she found her way off the street and into the building? She then commented that there should be some kind of signage indicating where the non-fiction videos begin – Doh! You know where non-fiction begins? When you hit 001 right after “Z,” dumbass.

I wonder if she ties her own shoes?

[A random dumbass interrupts] … What’s the problem? Oh, I see, you can’t get a PDF to open. What computer are you using? Oh, that’s because the computer you’re on is the modern version of a CARD CATALOG. You have to sign-in at the Reference Desk to use the Internet, and the next session doesn’t start for another 20 minutes…

Hemlock please.


~ by Woeful on April 17, 2007.

4 Responses to “Dumbass Festival”

  1. What does the crew at the library think of the “Vote for Sanjaya” movement?

  2. He’s coming in for a musical sing along program over the summer. It’s called, “Sing the Song of Cats in Boiling Water.”

  3. Sounds like Alzheimer has set in.

  4. Sounds like something…

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