Porn Man Was Here

Sigh… I just spent the night in the vile wake of Porn Man.

At one point, I had to point out that the Library isn’t his living room, and had to tell him to put his shoes on! Then, after his time was up on the Internet workstation, I noticed him under one of our catalog workstations… I saw his ass sticking out from under the desk. I was like, “What are you doing down there!?” He said that he was trying to plug in his USB drive. By the looks of what he was surfing earlier, what he really wants to plug his drive into is Winona Ryder; but that’s neither here nor there… I responded by informing him that that particular workstation is a catalog. So, unless he needs to download a bibliography, he’s plugging his drive into the wrong hole! Seeing that the particular hole he chose wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction he craves, he glumly apologized and began packing up his extensive belongings.

Porn Man’s crap: He carries a black and blue backpack that would make a sherpa buckle. The thing is HUGE, it’s like as big as my television! He also carries a black satchel, and a mesh bag with handles. Every square inch of each of these containers is packed beyond capacity. He has sandy blond hair and a full beard, and to round out the ensemble, wears a thin black headband at all times. Today, he also had is beer gut stuffed into a red long-sleeved shirt and black sweatpants…. Somehow, I don’t think Winona would dig the look.

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~ by Woeful on January 17, 2007.

7 Responses to “Porn Man Was Here”

  1. This is all great stuff. I’m laughing like a crazy man!

  2. Thanks for stopping by Hawk, glad you like it!

  3. Hey woeful, this is hilarious stuff! I just might have to do a post about this hidden treasure you have here! I’m on the way out to go hunting for a few days. I’ll be back as a regular.

    BTW, nice to meet you!

  4. Cool! Have a good hunt.

  5. We have our on “porn man” at my library. I dream of a place where they could all meet, I wonder if they would be possesive of their library or maybe they would just all become great and creepy friends.

  6. Yeah, we used to have one at our library too, only he would rent out headphones to listen to it….We called him “Creepy Headphones Guy.” We got him banned after a lot of patrons complained. Huzzah!

    Also, thanks for the visit to my blog. Hope you don’t mind me adding you to my blogroll.

  7. LMAO!! The headphones thing is GREAT, Wolfshowl!
    Thanks for the link.

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