Our Top 10 Library Irregulars

Well folks, as promised, here’s the top 10 list of freaks from my place of business:

  1. Stuck-Out-Of-Time Man (a.k.a. “Aqualung”). You really have to see him to believe it.
  2. The Secret Agent (Mr. Spacious) always looks as if he’s about to plant an explosive device
  3. The Watcher — He watches women through the stacks; and we watch him…
  4. The, “Books are talking to me” Guy, who was found in a staff only area hiding from, “The voices”
  5. Porn Man — Where he goes, I follow purging smut — Not even good smut…
  6. Scary Camaro Guy (followed a coworker home once out of road rage)
  7. Nameless fellow who is homeless, but has a steady girlfriend
  8. The guy who fixed in the men’s room and OD’ed on the central staircase
  9. The guy who wrote on the bathroom wall with his own feces
  10. The guy who left the used condom in the stacks — Found by a clueless female high school volunteer

Dishonorable mentions go to:

  • Any of our teenage community service workers (most of the chicks are in for shoplifting, and the dudes are in for fighting)
  • The pharmacist doing community service for DUI, who attempted to forge his time sheets to avoid fulfilling his court-ordered obligation
  • The guy who tore the urinal divider off the men’s room wall

… This isn’t by any means a complete list of the Irregulars I routinely deal with, but it certainly conveys the primary cast of characters I’ve encountered @ the Library.

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~ by Woeful on January 15, 2007.

2 Responses to “Our Top 10 Library Irregulars”

  1. I think I have come across the same people at my university library.

  2. I don’t doubt it… Sadly, I believe that Irregulars are much more widespread than the general population suspects.

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